The mummy blogger FIC
I have been tooing (how do you spell that?) and froing about writing this post but inevitably I will do what is true to my heart. I started it yesterday but only found the strength to complete it today. I booked CyberMummy before the new year, I didn’t even think about getting a sponsor, I just wanted to attend and get some direction with my blogging, find out what works and doesn’t and what direction I want to take it in. I blog for myself, my family and friends, and of course I love it when others read it and comment upon it either on the blog or more often on Facebook or via email. I’m not one of the mommy blogger ‘in crowd’ and neither do I want to be. I’ve been involved in many online communities and virtual worlds for years and this is just one area of interest, one that, since having my twins 2 years ago has become more and more important to me. I knew there was some cliquing going on but I never realised how much until CyberMummy. While I enjoyed the conference, and all but one of the workshops, one at the end of the day which left me speechless, and I jokingly tweeted endlessly about being a billy-no-mates (which led me to meet some more awesome billy-no-mates) it wasn’t what I expected and possibly not what I wanted.
Branding craziness…
Sponsorship is a great idea, as is reviewing and branding oneself, I am branded too, way beyond the realms of mommy blogging, but it seemed to me that there was little at Cybermummy for anyone who wasn’t that way inclined. Between workshops the Cybermummy Central room was all about branding and sponsors, it was too much. I loved all the freebies, I struggled home with them, my prizes for my children, but I didn’t expect them or need them, I won’t be writing any reviews about anything in those bags in the near future ( I have written reviews, unpaid ones for products I have used and commented upon, featured not on my blog but on their own web sites). There seemed to be more sponsored than non-sponsored bloggers about on Saturday.
The Sophie King thing…
I was at the workshop. I loved it and it inspired me. Others have the right to feel otherwise from their perspective but I was horrified at the attitude of some people in that workshop. Some people who I had never heard of before the event but now most certainly have, seemed quite affronted that Ms King had not heard of them. They seemed to expect her to know who they were and pay due respect. They didn’t want her advice or suggestions, they seemed to have it all ‘sorted’ – why, I wonder, were they there? They tweeted unkind and unprofessional comments while she was speaking. Some walked out although not as many as has been written. How can someone not have the courtesy to sit through a one hour seminar? I have sat through much longer, much more useless, and more offensive than that ever could have been as an educator of 19 years. The posts and comments, the tweeting and retweeting and retweeting and …. blah blah blah endlessly, not only got on my tits but left a thoroughly bad taste in my mouth. It brought to the front of my mind other negative aspects that I had perhaps been willing to overlook. Sophie King made some very valid points, I know my blogging is too diverse, and I know I cannot leave out certain aspects, so dividing my blog up is a super idea, one which I have already done to some extent – I have a foodie blog and a baby-led weaning blog, as well as a business blog. I also hadn’t thought as deeply about the naming of my blog as I should of. Some people there seemed to think she was ‘knocking’ their branding, well to be honest I think some of the branding mentioned was pretty shite, I can understand it has taken them time and they have built up quite a mommy blogger following, but if they want to break out beyond this small elitist world maybe they should think about it too.
I contacted Sophie King as soon as I returned and saw the horrendous hourly tweets of malicious blog posts that had been written – yes I (my God did I admit to that?), I told her what was going on because she needed to be able to defend herself, people were riding on her back, rising up the Google searches by slating her, sometimes personally, laughing at their growing ‘fame’.
Cliques and more…
‘Mommy blogging rockstars, ‘mommy blogging elite’ I’ve heard it all said and more in the last 3 days. It was a major networking and ladder-climbing event for some. These people are somewhat big fish in a very very small pond. My poor little friendless tweets were picked up by a few in equally good humour but largely ignored. Seriously I could have easily have spoken to no one from the moment I entered. There was a definite hierarchy, one I am not a part of because I don’t recognise its validity. There was one long standing twitter ‘friend’ that was there who I decided not to talk to because I saw the way that others were flitting around this person, like bees to a honeypot. It was tragic.
I met some awesome people throughout the day, not many because I kept myself to myself, but those I did meet were superb people – you know who you are.
Next year…
Well I wondered, do I separate myself from this weird Fetid Inner Core? Do I focus on those who actually matter to me? Do I throw Cybermummy to the wind and those cliques and elitists? Well I’m undecided…if I don’t and I attend next year I will possibly be shunned (well that will make a difference – not!) … or do I have faith that there are others that feel the same and think… the mommy blogging experience is a force to be reckoned with and rightly so, but it’s one that belongs to us all. I must shut up or put up. I guess time will tell, in the mean time I’ll be checking out potential sponsors.
Finally…
The photography workshop was great, I enjoyed the crowd-sourced keynote. I came home buzzing with it all, but it died away all due to the negative posts and tweets flying around, even if most were not so. I wish I didn’t feel this way.
I was about to complete this post today when I found someone else had beat me to it so feel it only right to mention it here as I read it before I finished. You go girl.
Thanks Elli. If ONLY I had the guts to write about it so succinctly and honestly.
But to summarise, I agree with you and your post in its entirety.
I left with such a bad taste in my mouth which is such a shame as Cybermummy itself was absolutely great.
YOU go girl
xx
Comment by All for Aleyna — June 29, 2011 @ 8:17 pm
Well said. xx
Comment by Susanna — June 30, 2011 @ 4:36 am
thanks
Comment by booperkit — June 30, 2011 @ 9:01 am
it is a shame
Comment by booperkit — June 30, 2011 @ 9:01 am
Erm, seriously? Perhaps you could have made an effort to speak to people, and then you wouldn't feel this way. The people who were offended by Sophie King (I'd never heard of her before, so perhaps the whole fame thing hasn't worked for her either) had every right to be. What right does she have to belittle people when she admits that she doesn't really get blogging? A poor booking if you ask me, and the people who feel that way far outweigh those of similar mind to yourself. Perhaps those who don't feel confident in their blogging need or want to be spoken to the way she was. I prefer those who write what they like, how they like. Apologies but it sounds like you have a massive chip on your shoulder- not like the blog you link to, who admits to being genuinely nervous. I would say Cybermummy obviously wasn't for you and would advise you not to attend if being in room with friendly people is not for you.
Comment by Anonymous — June 30, 2011 @ 1:28 pm
Pull your tounge out of ms kings ass.
She offended bloggers with established names and a brands recognised by many, she also slated a special needs blogger, if i was in that session i would have been jumpingu to the bloggers side.
Fair fair she didn’t know the blogosphere well, that was admitted. But your post seems to be ine that could distance yiu from others.
Think about that……….
Comment by Leigon — June 30, 2011 @ 4:12 pm
What a shame the previous post was anon ;-/ It sort of reinforces the clique idea, which I'm sure wasn't the intention.
I did not attend Cybermummy. It did look [from the live tweets] like a lot of groups of friends all met up. I imagine it to have been like mother-toddler groups I have attended. Let me explain…
As a single mother of an adopted daughter I found/find myself on the outskirtsof mothering type things. Whenever Squidge and I attended Singing Tots I would plonk myself next to one of the small groups that had formed at coffee/juice time. You know, the ones where the chairs are all in a closed circle so no-one can get in?! I'd deliberately tap on someone's shoulder and introduce ourselves.
But these women had known each other from ante-natal classes. Many had been on same ward together, given birth together etc, etc. I was an outsider…and a single mum to boot….of a kid that wasn't even mine [their words, not mine] The thing that all the Singing Tots women had in common was they had been pregnant together, given birth together and all had husbands at home. We just did't have the same history.
This didn't stop me from going each week or from trying to make friendships and get on the inner circle of the cliques, but I never really had much success. Even aftertaking Anon's advice of 'ma[king] an effort to speak to people'. After the initial polite hello and swapping of basic details, the clique regrouped and my chair was slightly pushed out of the circle again!
This [see, I'm getting there eventually] is how I imagined Cybermummy to be and it's how I perceived some of it to be from the tweets [esp the slagging off of the writer...but I wasn't there, maybe it was crap?]
Perhaps in future there could be a 'newbie' section? Whenever I did exam marking all the new markers got together first so they wouldn't feel as intimidated by the knowledgable old hands in the room. They were also given top tips on what to look out for during the day and who to go to for help. Could this work for Cybermummy in the future? People volunteer to 'chaperone' newbies?
Anyway…back to the point and the anon message above. If 'would advise you not to attend if being in a room with friendly people' isn't a tad intimidating then I don't know what is! The same with presuming the author of the OP has 'a massive chip on [her] shoulder'! The OP doesn't name anyone…it seems to me it's someone's opinion and nothing more. Are we no longer to voice our views and thoughts if it is contrary to the wrath of the Mummy Bloggers? If so, I might take anon's advice and 'not attend'
Happy to hear/read alternative views.
Best wishes, everybody – worse things happen xx
Comment by howwelaughed — July 4, 2011 @ 10:17 pm
I was at Cybermummy this year and last year- and more than anyone could have felt like I wasn't welcome. However, you mention that you were not there yourself, so apologies for questioning how you could comment?
The whole event was geared very much towards newer bloggers this year- if you read many other blogs belonging to older bloggers you will see this was the overwhelming opinion. Second only to Sophie King and her disgraceful attitude towards bloggers. Would you have appreciated Ms King telling you that your blog name should be something along the lines of "Not my child" or something similarly geared around the adoption of your child? The whole idea of blogging is to write about what you wish- as the blog above proves when it wrongly hints at certain others "bullying" Ms King. Yes, the women upset by it are friends of mine- but that would have made no difference. Us "older" bloggers , for the main part, are strongly supportive of each other. We are not a closed circle. I questioned whether the blogger had really tried to join in. Its not a situation where you have to be invited to join in with people- I see these events as the same as Twitter, whereby you just jump in. You can't expect to be spoon-fed and babied. We all started out knowing no one. To suggest chaperoning made me think of my child starting nursery school and being treated as she is- 4 years old. Surely women old enough to have children are quite able to look after themselves.
IMHO, there are some great new bloggers who are happy to come along and say hello and join in. Then there are loads who expect us to almost "roll out the welcome mat" and make a massive fuss of them. My point about the blogger not coming next year was far from me ordering her not to go- it was a suggestion that if you really don't enjoy the social interaction of blogging when not hidden behind the anonymity of the PC, then perhaps you should consider whether you really want to go next time. Thats in essence is the issue here- some people obviously blog and use Twitter as they are too nervous of real interaction.
And I have chosen to remain anonymous as obviously this blogger is more than happy to throw accusations of bullying around without just cause.
Comment by Anonymous — July 5, 2011 @ 5:51 am
I am commenting on what I read. Are we no longer allowed to unless we have actually experienced what is being written about?!
I have read a lot of blogs from 'older' bloggers. It'd be good to read some from 'new' bloggers if you could direct me to some more?
I think it's just, well, normal if there are some of the 450 delegates who did not feel like the majority did and they have every right to express those feelings/opinions, just as we have a right to respond to those feelings. I ultimately form a picture based on everything I end up reading on the subject. Everyone has a different experience/perspective and since I wasn't there, this is the best I can do to get a picture of what Cybermummy was like.
Comment by Sam — July 5, 2011 @ 2:36 pm
The 'chaperoning' idea was simply by way of offering a solution to the OP's experience so that future people might not feel like she did. Not saying it was a great idea and since she hasn't commented I don't know whether it would have been any use to her. Good to hear the new, nervous blogger WAS the target audience of Cybermummy this year and that my worst fear of it being like the mother-toddler groups I described are unfounded.
Thanks for your comments. I do stand by the view that everyone has the right to express their opinions. It's what I enjoy most about social networking
Best wishes
Comment by Sam — July 5, 2011 @ 2:36 pm
Not surprised you are commenting anonymously, but to respond… that's how I felt and it was difficult for me to write it. I don't have a chip on my shoulder, and Sophie King was bullied. People who feel like me are not necessarily outweighed, perhaps afraid of the comeback. She was there to help with writing in general and she did that well. I had never heard of Typecast either.
Comment by booperkit — July 12, 2011 @ 7:23 pm
Thank you so much, I was a tiny bit upset by the last comment, but not much.
Comment by booperkit — July 12, 2011 @ 7:25 pm
The accusation of bullying was made by the blogger of the post I linked to previously.
The bullying took place on twitter.
I am not a new blogger.
Comment by booperkit — July 12, 2011 @ 7:27 pm
Sorry I didn't respond earlier – have literally been up to my neck in other stuff, but no excuse I guess. I'm not a new blogger just not a ten times a week blogger. I didn't feel that Cybermummy was directed at new bloggers, just at commercial bloggers and that was the direction there, not blogging for fun, for the hell of it. I might attend next year, if I do I expect anon will be at me with a squirt gun – or I might go for a weekend away somewhere else. Who cares? It's my choice and anyone's else's opinion is not relevent. I just wanted to say my piece because a potentially powerful conference was 'ruined' in my view by a few people who are too big for their boots.
Comment by booperkit — July 12, 2011 @ 7:31 pm
FYI, I'd never heard of you either. It would have been courteous of you to actually contact me to tell me you were slagging ME off in your post rather than mention it in a comment. You have actually contacted me on Twitter before so I find this whole thing REALLY rude!!
How did I find out that you'd mentioned me here? I have Google Alerts set up.
And another FYI for you – I contacted Sophie King myself to alert her to my blog post. I gave her the option of reply on the blog and/or a private email reply but, hey ho, no response. Ain't that a shame? And the "hourly tweets"… erm… try again, love – those were "retweets" from people who actually agreed with what I was saying. I have a log of how many times I personally tweeted it out and it was five in a 24 hour period – less than usual, to be honest.
And lastly, in response to your "too big for their boots" comment at the end of this comments section – maybe some of us say it as we see it, just like you believe you have.
Anyone who feels like contacting me about this on or off this comments section then my name is Nickie, my email address is typecastblog@gmail.com, my twitter handle is @nickie72 and my blog address is http://www.iamtypecast.com. I don't hide behind anonymous comments or blog names. I have more pride in my beliefs and words for that.
Comment by Nickie — July 25, 2011 @ 6:04 pm
I'm sorry you were so offended. But I was offended by something that I thought was professional conference, but not treated as so by some attendees. You interpreted comments as aimed at you, they were not all aimed at you, but obviously you were a part of it – you were very outspoken and obviously disgruntled. My aim was not to offend but to offload, I was disappointed, I hope I will attend next year, and I hope I will not be attending with enemies, but I also hope the conference will evolve into something more all encompasing.
Comment by booperkit — July 28, 2011 @ 9:32 pm